Updated: Jul 12, 2019
As part of my Pregnancy/infant loss documentary, I am honoring other mothers who have suffered loss by letting them share their story. I am hoping to spotlight many different mothers who has suffered loss, early or late, pregnancy, infant or child as part of this blog series. My hope is to bring awareness to this topic and to help people realize that there are more of us out there than we realize and that its okay to talk about it.
Tameka moved to Georgia in Oct 2016 and met her husband in August 2017. He proposed in December 2017. She found out she was pregnant in May 2018 and they got married in June 2018 and welcomed their rainbow miracle in Dec 2018.
Tameka has graciously offered to share her story as part of my blog series as well as honoring me with photographing her rainbows 6 month milestone photos. Here is her story:
I found out I was pregnant on my 19th birthday after being diagnosed with PCOS and fibroids. On Oct 28 2003 I had a miscarriage. In November 28, 2009, I found out I was pregnant with triplets but my fibroids were so bad that they were attached to the babies and grew larger than the babies which caused me to lose them in December 2009. At this point, I was told I would need surrogate or IVF in order to have children. I got pregnant again with my miracle in 2018.
Having my rainbow Baby has helped through my storm because she gives me drive. She motivates me to be a better woman. The best thing about the pregnancy was seeing the 3d ultrasound of her and seeing that she looked just like me and hearing her heartbeat. I couldn't believe it. I thought the test was wrong.
The hardest part about the pregnancy was the anxiety. I was so afraid of losing her. I took all the negatively out of my house. I even moved my sick father who was living with me at the time back to Detroit Michigan so I wouldn’t be stressed out bringing her into the world.
She said if she could go back and prepare herself for the losses she would tell herself to pray about everything. “ I look back on the two losses I suffered and see that God had other plans. I would have been a single mother of 5 kids and Go knew that I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t have a solid place to live and nothing to give my children back then like I do now. My daughter, I can provide for and my husband is an amazing father.”
She wants others to know that just because her children didn't make it doesn't mean she doesn't know how to take care of kids. God has a time for everything; don't tell women that because she is 34 with no kids that she is crazy. The one thing that people said to her that hurt the most was that something must be wrong with her because she was 33 single with a house, car and good job but no kids.
Thank you Tameka for sharing your story and for helping me raise awareness of this topic. It shouldn't matter what age we are or how far along we are, a loss is still a loss. Your daughter is a precious miracle picked out by her siblings in heaven.